Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Dear Internet:

"Frak" and "frell" are not real words and, even if you're using them in the context of something as preternaturally lame as an Ain't It Cool News talkback, you sound like a gigantic lisping pile of dork whenever they come out of you. If you want to swear, go nuts - you're writing on a website where the owner somehow managed to compare Blade 2 to cunnilingus, after all, I don't think people are going to get offended because you felt like dropping a fuck-bomb. Swearing may be childish, immature and a good indicator of poor intellect, but using pretend swears SciFi Network Originals writers came up with to avoid censors while still cheaply manufacturing drama is a damned sight worse.

To put it in perspective, you're about one step removed from swearing in Klingon. And we can all agree that that's totally and soul-crushingly weak sauce.

Thank you.


googum said...

It is breaking my fucking ass not to curse on my site. But, I'm entertaining the vain, doomed hope that some kid, some internet rugamuffin, might stumble across my blog and develop a lifelong love of comics. Yeah, yeah, fat fucking chance, but I'm still trying for it.

That said, it took me twenty minutes to edit and rewrite around the phrase 'lose their collective shit,' so it's tough going.

Subchunker said...

I never thought about it that way. It really shows how meaningless it is to label a word as a curse. Fuck = bad. Fornicate = Acceptable. Shit = Bad. Feces = Acceptable. SO, in BSG, having them use Frak (or Frack) is exploiting that weakness. "Swear words" shouldn't exist, but as long as they do, I'm gonna try to keep my page as "family-friendly as possible.

I do, however, appreciate a good fuck-bomb now and again.

Keep up the good work.

Blockade Boy said...

What the sprock crawled up your ass?

(But seriously, you make a good point. Also, is "Jeebus" okay? It's from the Simpsons!)

Jon said...

"Jeebus" I can let go, especially since I think it first came up in the episode that also contained the line "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman."

Anonymous said...

Nope, different episode. "Jeebus" came from Missionary Impossible and the Superman crack came from Lost Our Lisa. Man, how sad is it that I didn't have to look that up?

I disagree completely about the fake swear words. I personally think they're cool, not to mention hilarious. My favourite is "Smeghead". So there.

Anonymous said...


I have two kids who have just entered the "verbal sponge" phase. We use the Farscape swear lingo at home in real conversation because we are lazy and don't want to have to meet with the principal every couple of weeks. Thing 1 and Thing 2 will get in less trouble for calling their kindergarten teacher a frellnik than they would calling him a fuckhead.

Isaac said...

I think "Jeebus" is, like, a separate entity from Jesus, and therefore an acceptable (if dorktastic) sustitute. Sort of like someone saying, "Oh, for the love of FSM!" or "Not another Iboga-damned productivity seminar!"

... not that I've ever heard anyone say either of those things.

Gordon said...

Anonymous, I would rather my children get in trouble with the principal than get beat up every day after school for being fucking nerds.