Friday, April 06, 2007

Questions I want answers to:

  • If Namor's the prince of Atlantis - and he is, because he never shuts up about it - who the Hell is the king? Is there some kind of crazy underwater order of succession I'm not privy to that prevents him from making it to kingship?
  • Did anyone else hit the page in Justice League whereupon the name of their new Danger training room is revealed think "oh, God, don't say 'if you can't stand the heat' OH GOD SHE DID SAY 'IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT'" or was that just me?
  • Did Michael Turner only read that above-mentioned page of Justice League before doing his cover?
  • Who the Hell thought it was a good idea to build a training ground for untested super-powered teenagers on the site of a catastrophe involving untested super-powered teenagers (and also an F-list Captain Marvel villain)?
  • Anyone from Connecticut absolutely flummoxed by Stanford's massive fictional import? Is this what people from Rutland, Vermont felt like from, oh, '67 to about '75?
  • When the Christ did the One Year Later parts of Battle for Bludhaven happen, keeping in mind that that particular Teen Titans lineup has done nothing but run around the world recruiting characters that didn't appear in BFB pretty much nonstop since the jump?*
  • How weirdly coincidental is it that a not-a-metahuman would spawn a metahuman with powers that match his dad's freaking costume? Isn't that taking Weird Power Internalization an insane step beyond where it already is to a world where putting on a catsuit for forty years modifies your seed enough to produce werecats?
  • Why does DC let anyone but Jeff Smith handle Captain Marvel?
  • Why does Google think this site is a Sara Tommasi Video fan club? Subquestion: who's Sara Tommasi? I'd Google her, but that apparently would put me in a vicious circle where I'd end up back here.

*Yeah, that's not exactly current, but screw you, it's been bugging me for almost a year.

25 comments:

Law Dog said...

Remember that Wildcat was magically enhanced (or something) with his nine lives ability. Perhaps this is what caused Tom's mutation.

Jon said...

He had nine lives, not a magical cat suit. I don't know; if the power he had was slightly more cat-related than some kinda weird anecdote situation, maybe I'd buy it. As it stands, it reads like a baffling coincidence coupled with Johns' hard-on for Kingdom Come.

thedeadpenguin said...

I hope someone answers that Namor question, because it's been bugging me for years! He's both the prince AND "Imperius Rex"?

Steve McS said...

Simple solution to Wildcat's son's powers: Discworld genetics. Anything else used to rationalize it will make your brain hurt too much.

kelvingreen said...

I assume the Namor thing is explained in some "prince regent" fashion. He's technically the highest rank, but there's some obscure rule of succession which means that he can't be King for some reason. Perhaps he's not old enough yet, or perhaps his half-human nature means he can't be King, or maybe there is a King, but he's incapacitated, but not dead.

Jon said...

Yeah, that's what I've always figured. It's just odd it's never come up, really, considering Namor's been written by such noted continuity gap-fillers as Roy Thomas and John Byrne.

Matt said...

You know, for the most part I've been enjoying JSA (or at least not hating it) but the Wildcat Jr. thing and all of this Kingdom Come nonsense is really frustrating, IMO.

And alas, I've yet to read JLA #7, but when I read about that particular moment I think my eyes cale this close to actually rolling out of my head. I fear for what may happen when I actually have a chance to pick up the issue.

-M

Captain Infinity said...

I think I've got the answer to Wildcat Jr.

Back somewhere during JSA's run (in the #50's or so when the new Crimson Avenger turns up) Wildcat talks about where he got his nine lives.

Turns out an old villain attempted to turn Ted into an actual wildcat, but the plot was thwarted with the help of Zatara.

That doesn't really explain why his kid is were-cat or anything, but it's as plausible as the incident giving Ted nine lives.

Scipio said...

"was that just me?"

Not just you; me, too.
Actually, my nerves were already kind of numb from the achingly goobery "slideways"....

Scotus said...

The "If you can't stand the heat..." line was bad, but I was a lot more bugged by "That's a dangerous room." Is it okay to rip-off X-Men if you do it with a sly wink?

And since when does the JLA need a holographic training room, anyway? They're the JLA.

Scipio said...

"Sara Tommasi"

Did you, perhaps, ever reference Peter Tomasi, and slipped an extra M in it?

Jon Hex said...

Battle for Bludhaven takes place before they decided to go looking for Raven. So, between the fourth and fifth pages of the second OYL Teen Titans issue.

What you should really be asking is what has Geo-Force done that makes him Justice League material to even Black Lightning's bias eyes. He's Geo-Force. He barely qualifies for the Outsiders, anymore.

Sleestak said...

"Who the Hell thought it was a good idea to build a training ground for untested super-powered teenagers on the site of a catastrophe involving untested super-powered teenagers"

The same mentality that wants to turn Ground Zero into a strip mall tourist mecca?

(2nd time I invoked 9/11 today and it's only 1030 am.)

Jon said...

"So, between the fourth and fifth pages of the second OYL Teen Titans issue."

I figured it had to be a tiny window, but damn, between pages? Wow.

"What you should really be asking is what has Geo-Force done that makes him Justice League material to even Black Lightning's bias eyes."

Meltzer has a crush on Satellite-Era JLA/ Batman & the Outsiders the same way Johns has a crush on Kingdom Come, I guess.

"The same mentality that wants to turn Ground Zero into a strip mall tourist mecca?"

Yeah, that's tacky as Hell, but it ain't an army base or a commercial flying school. The Initiative thing has a way more weirdly ironic vibe.

Steve Flanagan said...

If Namor's the prince of Atlantis - and he is, because he never shuts up about it - who the Hell is the king?

It's those old Stan Lee archaic speech patterns again.

Tediously serious and staight-laced answer: In medieval Europe, the ruler of an independent state was a prince. When Macchiavelli wrote The Prince, he was drawing up an advice manual for the boss, not his second in command.

A king was a particular type of prince - one who was annointed by God (or, rather, by God's representatives on Earth, in the Church, using holy oil).

Gradually, the kingdoms conquered the principalities, at least outside Italy and Germany and "Prince" became degraded to a subordinate title.

For example, when England conquered Wales, the King of England got into the habit of giving his eldest son the title of Prince of Wales. But originally, that title was adopted by Welsh rulers to symbolise their belief that they were independent of the English king.

So Namor is like a very old Welshman.

Tom Foss said...

About Wildcat, I seem to recall that the spell was initially supposed to turn him into a cat, but just gave him the catlike nine lives. Maybe the magic gave him catlike loins as well.

About the Kitchen, I thought it was bad that they called it a "dangerous room," but saying it was built by Niles Caulder, DC's stand-in (sit-in? roll-in?) for Charles Xavier, was like something out of bad fanfic. "Hey, Justice League, we should get this crippled Machiavellian sociopath to build our training facility." Oy.

Jon said...

See, the thing about the nine lives deal is that Johns treated it like something he was saddled with - I think the plot point originated in a throwaway line in Morrison's JLA - and the only time it really came up in JSA was when Wildcat got killed something like seven times in one issue, in what amounted to a WWE squash match to put over the Crimson freaking Avenger.

I'll accept it as an in-story explanation for Ted's creepy were-baby, but I'm certain the correct answer is "OMG, REMEMBER KINGDOM COME?"

Jon said...

Oh, also, how weird is it that Caulder and Xavier are pretty much bar none the creepiest dudes in their respective universes and they're supposed to be good guys?

kelvingreen said...

Well, Xavier being a creepy hero makes perfect sense in light of Iron Hitler.

So Namor is like a very old Welshman.
"Imperius Rex, is it boyo!"

Accursed Interloper said...

"How weirdly coincidental is it that a not-a-metahuman would spawn a metahuman with powers that match his dad's freaking costume? Isn't that taking Weird Power Internalization an insane step beyond where it already is to a world where putting on a catsuit ..."

Right up to that point I thought you were talking about the Icicle. What's his deal, anyway?

Jon said...

Icicle inheriting the abilities of his dad's fucking gun in absolutely insane. It's like if Ollie Queen had a kid who could shoot arrows out of his damn arms.

Rob Pugh said...

"Niles Caulder, DC's stand-in (sit-in? roll-in?) for Charles Xavier"

Yeah, 'cept Niles Caulder predates Prof X by about 6mos... so Prof is a Niles Caulder stand-in...

Tom Foss said...

Yeah, 'cept Niles Caulder predates Prof X by about 6mos... so Prof is a Niles Caulder stand-in...

It's entirely possible that Caulder wasn't Xavier-lite in his early days, but that's basically how he's been treated off-and-on since then. Particularly in the Claremont/Byrne DP relaunch.

Oh, god, I just threw up a little.

David Lawson said...

If Namor's the prince of Atlantis - and he is, because he never shuts up about it - who the Hell is the king?

Aquaman.

John Foley said...

I'm from Stamford (with an m) and I don't completely understand your question. Are you surprised that it's such a major turning point in a big story? I guess they wanted to use someplace other than Manhattan, for once. And it's only about 45 minutes away, so the geography isn't that unbelievable. I think the whole thing they were going for was "tragedy strikes Everytown, U.S.A"
It would have been nice if they'd used actual photo references though. There's only like 3 recognizable things in the whole town, you might think they'd use a couple of them.