Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The President is on the line as ninety-nine This Week's Reviews go by

JLA #123: I'm pretty sure the point of this storyline is to make me feel good about this book getting the axe in a couple months. Ollie Queen has his own book. Let him bitch there. Granted, I'd be a little pissy if I was just told, in no uncertain terms, that I was less powerful than Red Tornado, too. (By the way, again, I am forced to ask: What the Hell good is Red Tornado in space? The guy's main weapon is wind manipulation, for God's sake.)

For the continuity-minded, this issue takes place ahead of Infinite Crisis #2, so maybe it was a good thing that IC #3 got pushed back a couple of weeks. Could've gotten really confusing if you weren't paying attention.

For the quality-minded, God, just duck this one. It's obviously going to end in a Green Arrow/Batman fight, but it's taking a long, boring, Key and Manitou Raven-centric route to get there. Besides, unless you get off on hearing two rich white guys debate the merits of having a superteam, you've got to be getting sick of hearing either Ollie or Bruce's side of this stupid argument.

(I still don't get why Ollie isn't on Bruce's side on this one. JLU had it right: Ollie was on the League on Batman's orders, to keep the more super members "honest." He was afraid of heroes in numbers. Hell, he argued on behalf of Cadmus at one point. An aging Lefty shouldn't be arguing for all-powerful conglomerations of people who can piss lasers, God damn it.)

Teen Titans #30: Death is screwy. Raven blames Superman's return. And then she blames herself. And then she blames someone else. Superboy's been watching TV in Kansas since OMAC Project #6 came out. It's night there, the middle of the school day "sixteen miles outside of Gateway City," where Wonder Girl goes to school, and night in Los Angeles. I will blame this on the Crisis, because that's more fun than blaming Tony Daniel.

I'm glad DC isn't claiming that this crossover is a good jumping on point for new readers, because it ain't. This issue's got references to a character I can only imagine was Blue Devil's sidekick at some point and the return of characters that not only died Pre-Original-Crisis, but seriously haven't been mentioned since (Kole. KOLE!), and a bunch of cuts to a Captain Carrot story (drawn by Scott Shaw!... exclamation point his, obviously).

Seriously, though, who thought they'd ever see Captain Carrot again, much less in a book that only exists because of a cartoon? I'm barely old enough to have a vague recollection of his existence beyond the odd crappy Wizard joke.

Bulleteer #1: Not as good as any issue of Zatanna, I don't think, but that Yanick Paquette sure does love drawing boobs. Christ, it's like a classier issue of Lady Death, or something.

Captain Atom: Armageddon #3: Aw, poor Cap. He just doesn't get the OMG 3DGIN3SS of the WildStorm Universe. Not even when the President makes a whole bunch of coy references to the Authority. Hey, anybody who stuck with Authority past the first issue of the current series: What'd they do that people are scared of superheroes in general?

X-Factor #1: Welcome to the first time since Grant Morrison left Marvel that an X-book's been my favorite of the week. I'll admit I didn't read his run on X-Factor back in the day, but between this issue and the Madrox mini he did, Peter David's made Jamie Madrox one of my favorite characters. Sook's pencils look better than they did even on Zatanna. There's a bit involving Multiple Man on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire that's just priceless. I'll be sticking with this one.

Also, I've been re-reading Milligan and Allred's X-Force/X-Statix over the last couple nights, and I've gotta say I'm really excited about that Dead Girl book they're doing. There's stuff in that run that's just incredible when taken in light of, like, eighty percent of X-Men books ever published.

4 comments:

Jhunt said...

I'm pretty excited because I was under the mistaken impression that there was only one TPB of X-Statix, and that the rest remained uncollected. So that's awesome.

kelvingreen said...

I think Force/Statix got collected up to the end. What a great, great series. There were some slow bits that would have been ironed out if they'd gone into it as a limited series, but my gosh it showed up the x-books of the time (Morrison's aside, but I think it was better than that too).

Yeah, enjoying Sook's art on X-Factor, but the first issue seemed to lack direction, and had an awful Bendis smell around it.

I forget, did you already do Marvel Team-Up #15? Why they've not put Kirkman on Not Avengers yet, I don't know. Does Bendis have pictures of Quesada sniffing coke off a ladyboy's ass or something?

Jon said...

Yeah, I did MTU #15 last week. New Avengers, despite its ridiculous suckitude, still sells like gangbusters (...now there's a saying that makes me sound about sixty years older than I am), so I don't expect Bendis off that book until he gets bored. Besides, Marvel wants you to take the Avengers seriously, for some damned reason. Like there's nothing inherently silly about an alcoholic billionaire paying his buddies to dress up in fetish suits to punch a guy who turns into a pterodactyl. Everything has to be so damned pretend realistic, and who does pretend realism better than Bendis? Nothing says "pretend realism" than six issues where nothing happens, people. It's just like real life.

Anyway, the best part about X-Statix was the fact that there were people that were genuinely pissed off that "their" X-Force wasn't around anymore. I can't imagine having an attachment to, like, Boom Boom. Or Cannonball (in his case, it's because I'm clearly not Chris Claremont).

kelvingreen said...

Yeah, I loved the Force/Statix letters pages. They were full of people who genuinely seemed to believe that the previous X-Force had any kind of merit to it.