Friday, July 29, 2005

So I've been reading old issues of the Avengers...

And Captain America... well, I think the pictures speak for themselves. But that's never stopped me from writing things.


Cap's sidekick, Bucky, was blown to bits (well, everyone thought he was, anyway, up until recently. And look at how maturely I handled the "blown" thing) by Baron Zemo at the tail end of World War 2 (and the "tail end" thing, too. I really am growing up). Cap, however, was simply launched into the North Atlantic, where he was frozen in a giant block of ice and subsequently worshipped by eskimos. Yeah. And this incredibly likely chain of events goes on like this. Namor the Sub-Mariner, Prince of Atlantis, was in the middle of one of his customary monologues when he came across said eskimos and decided that their religious artifacts, in this case a frozen World War 2 hero, were objects of scorn, and hurled the Capscicle back into the ocean, where it was promptly found and thawed out by the Avengers (at that time consisting of Thor, Iron Man and Giant-Man, with the Wasp acting as proof that Stan Lee still hadn't met a girl at the time of his writing her dialog). Cap, upon waking up, tries to beat up the Avengers thinking that they'd killed Bucky. This isn't the last we hear of his long-dead sidekick.

When he first meets Rick Jones, the Most Important Teenager in Any Fictional Universe Ever (he was the guy Bruce Banner was trying to save when he got gamma bombed, turning him into the Hulk. He was an unofficial Avenger for a while. He was Cap's sidekick. He shared atoms with Captain Marvel. Oh, and he was the carrier of the Destiny Force that ended an intergalactic war. Not bad for an orphan whose only discernable traits are bad luck and looking a bit like a dead guy Captain America had a crush on), he assumes that he is, in fact, Bucky (the shadowy figure in the first picture's Rick. Not shown, Captain America's giant erection).

Soon enough, Cap's palling around with Rick and his "Teen Brigade" (a group of white kids with ham radios who would call up superheroes and tell them about trouble, usually after seeing a newspaper that said Kang the Conqueror had landed in Washington, I guess because Iron Man doesn't read the paper) and letting Rick sit in on Avengers meetings.

Rick was the Hulk's sidekick for a while, riding around on his back and tucking him into bed. I wish I was kidding about the bed part. Hulk turned on the Avengers and bailed on his boy, leaving Rick in the lurch, looking for a superhero to latch on to.

Cap then decided to teach him some "acrobatic tricks."

Not to mention the whole "TAKE IF OFF!! I NEVER TOLD YOU TO WEAR IT!!" thing (I love Stan Lee's use of multiple instances of the same bit of puncuation. Two exclamation points shows twice as much shock as one). So, the next time somebody says that Batman's all about Robin, think about the love Captain America, Two-Fisted Terror of Tyranny, had for his little buddies Bucky and Rick. And cringe a little.

(By the way, all images copyright someone who ain't me, no doubt. If you want them pulled, Powers That Be, let me know.)

1 comment:

SanctumSanctorumComix said...

Rick was ALSO the uber-powerful hero who ended the KREE-SKRULL war by using his latent powers to pull heroes from his "imagination".
*You have to say "imaaaaginaaation" like Spongebob did in that great episode with the cardboard box.

Hey!
Don't diss the sponge!

OH!
Rick was ALSO sidekick to ROM: SPACEKNIGHT.

The boy got around.

~P~
P-TOR